I'm having a really hard time staying motivated to do ANYTHING right now. My big move is 2.5 weeks away and I'm struggling. It's as if knowing the end of this chapter is near and it just can't come fast enough. It's making things really stressful. All I want to do is sleep away the hours. I don't want to create activities for my girls' entertainment, or go grocery shopping, clean, eat, get dressed, shower, exercise...I just want to be out of this trailer. This past week I've tried so hard to stay busy. It helped make the days go faster, but now I'm burnt out. I really just want to move and be done living in this place. This is such a big move for me. I've waited for this move for 2.5 years. This move will solve a lot of problems and it just can't come fast enough. Every morning I wake up and cry because I'm still living my worst nightmare. Depression is seeping in. I catch myself laying around, doing nothing. I can't seem to get myself up in the morning to exercise. And then I start beating myself because of it. It's a vicious cycle.
I try to tell myself to enjoy the last few weeks in the trailer because it's almost over. It's hard though. It's been so hot outside to do anything except swim. And my girls have been constantly fighting, evermore than usual. They need this move just as much as I do. They bug the heck out of each other because there is no space and this momma isn't providing them entertainment. I find myself sitting online more and more trying to pass the time. Pinterest has been so fun to search on. I have so many things I am excited to do in the new house.....but waiting is hard.
I need to create a plan to focus on each day. To "win the day" every day. But how?
I'm more overwhelmed now than I was before knowing we were finally moving. I know I'll look back to these last few days and think I was silly for feeling this way.
I think I'm going to post later about the real and raw experiences that I've had while living in a trailer. But for now, I better get up to clean.
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